Saturday, May 7, 2011


explain to me WHY THE FUCK

this parent sat their children at MY FUCKING table when there are THREE completely EMPTY tables to my FUCKING RIGHT !!!!

i swear to GOD i'm gonna loose my cookies one day over this shit


spitting applications

i bet you miss when i just sent drunk text at 1am
i couldn't sleep ... again, i swear this insomnia is annoying !!! i did take some Tylonol PM & finally fall out
you would think walking 8 miles would wear me out, but i swear it doesn't, maybe i need to up my miles

anywhosit, my point, or what i was trying to say Jon, is that you spread yourself to thin
you know, you really should spend some time with some ONE or something
don't feel like you need to see me
we will always be good :)
but you really should spend time with someone instead of a little bit with every single person
that's just my opinion, i think you need some quality time
i don't like just having a few short hours, it's not enough time to really talk
i mean, just skimming the surface :( not a fan, can't get into any depth cause there's not enough time to

i'll catch up with you in NC for a few day's or so, if you like, you know i LOVE the Carolinas :)


Last time i applied at a grocery store for a job, you walked in, filled out the application & talked with someone
now it's all done online which sucks !!! for every shit job !!! oye veh, pain in my buttocks

gotta take a personality profile test for this print shop job ... it's between me & one other candidate
this is the job i thought i just didn't get
turns out they REALLY are tossing over the decision
which still doesn't make sense to me, usually ONE stands out ... or you interview until ONE stands out
in all my hiring years i never dilly dallied for WEEKS !!! and that's before the recession when you just had a FEW apply to begin with !!!

Friday's interview was the quickest to date, there were a TON of people in there
i ALMOST hit the guy who interviewed me in the parking lot !! F-ing IDIOT
this moron is in front of me coming into the parking lot, he bust a Left into a parking spot THEN Reverses to get into a spot behind him across to my RIGHT
i slammed on my brakes !!! and proceeded to watch this douche bag, pull forward AGAIN infront of me & finally back is POS car into the spot. I didn't do anything, on the outside, but mouth "good job"
i parked and here comes douche, i open the door & holding it for him & he's like "aren'ti supposed to get that for you"
"if your quick enough" i said, at the elevator, he takes the stairs & that's when it occures to me this is someone with the company
waiting for the elevator there is a short lady, half crying and pacing/circling me, very distraught. we get in the elevator & she's all snotty, i say "allergies" & damn she almost broke down
inside the waiting area is when douche comes out & sit's beside me & is about to say something until someone calls him, he's gone. thank GOD cause i'm sure i would have said some smart ass remark at that moment
the whole interview which lasted maybe 6mins, the guy is scratching his nose !!! i don't know what everyone was allerlgic to up in there but crazy
but it's all sales & commission based, i swear, i asked the chick this on the phone & she said, no & paid training blah blah
she must get a commission based on how many people she get's in to interview. AND there was about 5 others there to interview as well
'eh we shall see, i'm gonna go monday, it's at least something extra i can do, along with another shit job

whatever, i'm spending my Sat at the library filling out 5 applications !! wOO hOO

it's sad when Friday night you jogging til 1am & then up & a the Library by 10am as soon as they open LoL
i'm not sure if i'm turning old or into a GeeK

Tonights a party at Current !! that'll be fun, haven't been out in DC since .... ah Zegfields !!!
i just hope it's not overly crowded in there, i ALWAYs has been when i've been there !!!
OH you know Steves is closed right, yeah, so dont try to go there

theres a few things i miss with having this tongue ring
#1 Spitting !!!! i used to be able to spit for distance !!! not i'm lucky to get it out the window
#2 when i have a few drinks i develop a lisp !!! WTF
#3 i mistake it for a pill and drink a gallon of water trying to swollow it before i realized it was the ring i was filling
#4 the tip of my tongue is still numb ish

Don't forget to Call you MoM tomorrow !!! Mothers Day :)

alright i'm off here, i need a V8 & got 2 more applications to go
MaD LoVe
yEr reD ruNNer

skull candy = Morphine

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


ok I have been smoking cigarettes for ... 13yrs
and never in my 13yrs NEVER ONCE has my fucking finger tip turned yellow !!!!

ok I used to chain smoke like a damn banchy !!! 24/7 and never once did my god damn finger change color !!!


is this some new campaign to mark smokers !!!

ill send a picture ... or attach one here, shit, I didn't smoke that many, like ... 10 many be 12

fucked up


Monday, May 2, 2011

bin Dead

i LOVE the folks that are thankful his ass is burning in hell for all eternity

i love the people that don't believe he's dead LoL
(most of conspiracy theorist ARE pot heads) i swear, you tell me ???

and i LOVE the people that CAN"T BELIEVE Obama is taking credit for it ... really, who should he be giving credit to ???

see i SHOULD have gone down to CELEBRATE & take credit !!!

it was on a total whime !!! i just happen to be PMSing wow
mother nature, HELLA timeing !!!!


well my sunday consisted of some amazing soul food omg
I need more

and at 11 you informing me of Bin Ladens Death which NOW i wish i had joined the party at the White House cause it looked like FUN not to mention the FACT that i was metroing right through the damn city just a moment before your text arrived LoL figures ... i have the CLOSEST to GooD Timing Ever Missed

iv been missing calls all weekend and this morning realized my phone has been in silent mode lol
I swear

unpacking is a pain in my assets

but I only have myself to blame for this stupidity

my feet hurt, got up & ran, gasped for air, then walked & repeated until i felt like i was gonna throw up, that food was GREAT but my diegestive track is POed at me

did I tell you its these diet pills that are making me short of breath !!! wtf especially since they claim to work best with a diet & exercise, kinda hard to exercisewhen you can't breathe !!!
so no more diet pills, i don't know why i try them anyways !!! their as successful as my dating attempts !!!

but no more of that nonsense either, though i do get some GREAT stories out of those attempts

anywhosit, i was recently told i was sending "mixed signals"

i don't think i'm a mixed signal person but my biker does ... i think my signal are just hard to disiphere but certainly not mixed ... and everything gets lost in translation over chat/text etc

anywhosit, i'm at the library now & must get some shit done & go apply for some jobs at the shopping center by my house

did you get my res??

peace out warrior
yer red reactor

skull candy = Frou Frou (hear me out)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

posT wEEk enD

well my weekend was pretty good, Friday diner w/R & the fam

Saturday had a date … and was again reminded that I need to STOP trying to date
This guy didn’t say 10 word the whole date
The DRIVE was longer than the date for gods sake !!!!
When I got there, I was walking in & saw him sitting outside & you know first impressions, this guy is ROCKING a pair of jeans with a hole in them at the thigh about a foot long, spotted it a block away … really, not one pair of jeans without holes ???? sorry not at OUR age dude

Fine, go in & get a pool table & shoot some pool.
I try to make conversation but it was NOT happening, not with his one word answers
I asked if he was shy ?? he said not at all … he did not ask me ONE question NOTHING

I ordered some food cause I was starving !!! but shortly after the food was there he said he had to leave after this game cause he parked in a 2hr parking spot and didn’t want a ticket, the date was less than an hour … once the game was done, he racked it up & walked away … didn’t get to finish my food AND you know how happy I am without food

i don't know what the deal was, not interested ?? shy ?? retarded ?? Married Probably !!! cause it had occured to me that he never once called on the phone, just text ... yeah, probably married, or involved
i'm done for the gaBillionTH time !!!!

SO that night went w/my girls to Zeigfields AND enjoyed the penis show ALL night

Got LOADED, apparently I picked up the Drag Queen Bees feather boa and walked off with it, well upstairs LOL later a bouncer (I think a bouncer) came up & retrieved it lol it was a VERY nice boa & it smelled AMAZING
the bouncer was nice too, and straight, well so he said, i still say you have to be at least bi to work there !!! LoL though there was no shortage of straight


I LOVE that pLace !!! it always’s cheers me UP !!!

Sunday was spent in recovery

Monday heard from my future job & plan on a job offer today

Last night didn't sleep for shit !!! aweful dreams all night long waking me up terrified !!! why can't i NOT remember my dreams

then just kept falling right back into it
this haunted house during a rain storm, lost power
had to go in the basement & flip the fuse without a flashlight
but what was geting me was i was being chased by wind and something invisible pushing me, ripping at me ... scarred me

i'm considering having a baby with a gay couple ... i think that would be nice, i'm done with straight men !!!

the ones i want don't want me AND the ones that want me i don't want
it's just not my thing

SO plan B
they would be better than a straight one anyway's !!! especially the ones i pick !!!

annnywhosit, i'm off here only an hour on this battery & of course there is someone at the ONE outlet available at this library, UPDATE already !!!

mad love,
yer frustrated red

skull candy = Nina

Monday, April 18, 2011

Mr 1000

So I’m trying this online site, different one, maybe this time it’ll have better results

God knows I’m done meeting men in bars!!! After OH #3 most wanted I’m rather terrified to meet in person until I have googled any possible candidates !!!

I WILL NOT be on unsolved mysteries !!! or that “I survived” but I’ll jacked up now show NOOOOO

This site is funny EVERY single guy has down for children *undecided*
Isn’t that something YOU KNOW ?? if it were up to men, the human race would NOT be ruling the planet !!! rabbits would

I had my honest age up there but NO one hit me back … I think they think my pics are up to date w/my real age … I do look great for my age !!! so I knocked a few years off and BAM got some attention … I think ALL women lie about their age, when we’re young we claim to be older when we’re older, younger
BUT that is cause of you men, you guys want one or the other, I’ve never met a man who dates his own age … or a woman for that matter LoL

Annnywhosit, I got little Italy that looks nice, Puerto Rico AND a mixed brother with a 1000 GXSR  SO we shall see how chatting goes, that’s half the battle right there with online dating, over half end up being virtual pen pals that inevitable fizzle out !!!

Today is a Georgious Day !!! I’v got my window wide up and the sun IS shinning !!! the plants LOVE it !!!

Having a wonderful latte’ mmmmmmm

I’m definitely getting in my 8 miles today !!! maybe MORE !!! what else do I have to do
OH find a fucking job, I run out of $$ like, SHITTAAHHHHHH

Yeah, that is a necessity to, finding a FT job !!! Full Time is what I’m meditating for YES

Alrighty I’m off !!!

I thought I sent this out already BUT here it is nearly 10pm I spent the day hiking from Rock Creek to Adams Morgan !!! beautiful Day for a great hike through the woods & into the city. Nearly 2hr each way !!!

Well I’m off now, desperately need a shower, the FUNK is STRONG on Me

Well now it’s MONDAY and Ive been chatting with Mr 1000 GXSR oh my
Just fucking guess what color his bike is !!!! mmmmmmmm
And I said I was going back to white … sigh, he’s black hahaha

Got in interview this THURSDAY at 11am !!!  this IS MY JOB

I’m having the worst time breathing this week  truly, I can’t job let alone run, walking takes a good mile before I get past feeling like I’m gonna faint SUCKS, I’m so short winded, god forbid I have to go up a flight of stairs, I gotta break for air half way up
Shortness of breath followed by lightheaded ness and fatigue ugh

AND don’t tell me to go to the Dr ok !!! people with Ins go to Dr’s the rest of us tough it out
My biker tries to tell me he would go see a Dr. without ins !!! to which I say NO THE FUCK YOU WOULDN’T !!!
Let say I have a few hundred to toss at a Dr. with shortness of breath issues, he’s not gonna know a THING until he’s schedules some test and gets the results BUT as soon as I say I have no Ins., he’s gonna say, stop jogging until you get Ins

So as tempting as that is … I WILL pass until I get Ins

Well I’m off to job hunt for a while

Mad LoVe
yeR Red

skull candy = letters to cleo

Saturday, April 16, 2011

thE reaL reD

i think my roomies are the most wasteful things on the planet !!! if they run that dishwasher with only 3-6 dishes in it ONE more time, I swear !!! I’m gonna remove a fuse or something so ONLY I can run it !!!! I don’t understand that little contribution of RUNNING the dish washer, neither of them load or unload it ???? yet they run it apparently without looking to see if it needs it

they bother me … thank GOD I never see them

I don’t know about where ever your at but it’s raining holy buckets here & windy as all get out !!! flood and tornado warnings all morning/afternoon

I had to much coffee/lattee today, I was all jittery until about 2pm … it’s just so fun to make

I was par oozing CL on this rainy day, there are some good ones, i might go on a date tonight … though he did want a ReaL red head he might be upset it’s not real red
Whats the big deal ??? shit, I recently had (a complete stranger) ask if my hair was natural … I’m not sure where here on planet E that there is a race that has Candy Apple Red hair ALL NaturAl but I would LOVE to meet them
The chick went on AND on about how disappointed she was when I told her it’s dyed, THREE or so times, “I’m so disappointed’

Thank GOD I’m not out to please women !!! AND no offence Jon but this was coming from a black woman who I am SURE probably rocked her share of weaves WTF are you disappointed in ??? I don’t know ONE woman that has ALL natural hair

And those who don’t are hippies OK but even when I was a hippy I DYED my hair
Then I shaved it LoL

Anywhosit, today has consisted on Martial Arts Movies and itsy/bitsy time

I need to get my 8miles in today AND that is not from the movie OK god, I walk part trail part neighborhood and drove it and turns out to be 8 miles,
Which is my fav # also

Do you still read these ??

well i'm now over in the RT parking lot and the storm is BACK wow it's getting dark with the quickness !!! so much for that jog, i'm pretty sure i'de get blown away !!! well i'm off here

MaD LoVe
Yer MaD ReD

Red is a GooD MoVie BTW you seen it ??? I LOVE Malkovich

Skull candy = Bitter SweeT

Friday, April 15, 2011

hoRmonEs on the meTro

That wasn’t it !!! wow, I totally forgot AFTER I said I’de throw up in her hair SHE said

“oh, why don’t you just punch me in my belly to”
WTF !!! how did it go there ???

So I smiled back and slowly raised my middle finger til she turned away

Who DOES that !!! prego or NOT

At some point !!! how do you NOT say, wow, I’m being a total BITCH maybe I should leave this complete stranger out of my trifling state and save it for the asshole who actually FUCKED ME

Annnywhosit, so that is actually THAT whole story, I flicked off a pregnant lady

Not my best moment but I can only take so much shit talk AND glare at that close of range

On a Karmic Note PRIOR to this event, I was feeling a sugar crash in the Pentagon Mall and while cutting through a chocolate macadamia with a Plastic knife, I totally cut open my finger on the BLUNT end … I know, I know
If it were a real knife I’de have lost the tip of my finger
AND T was trying to get me to put hand sanitizer on it !!! OUCH !!! why do people think pain has to be part of healing ??

I’m running my Tassimo through the cleaning process right now !!! I’m SO in LOVE with this damn machine :) you know me & my damn coffee, and this does it ALL with just the push of a button jon, it’s my favorite appliance right now

On another Karmic Note ALSO PRIOR to Prego … I have a LOVELY bruise on my back Left Lower Calf from guy who pushed his luggage into me !!! I barley got off the train in tact and sain I SWEAR !!! he did apoligize & I said its fine & limped away

Totally FREE STUFF the past 2 DAYs !!!

#1 of Course the BrewBot

#2 a Sage Sapling

#3 Coconut Body Butter OMG I need MORE

#4 Washington Post

Next time I will walk to the opposite end of the train ... or actually throw up in her hair LoL

Its not like I wanted to flick off a pregnant lady, I just wanted her to leave me ALONE ... what pregnant woman talks SMACK to a stranger !!!

Ok I’m done and besides a HOT corveTTe just rolled into the parking lot here purrrrity


I’m putting myself down for a nap !!! exhausted, feet hurt, calves hurt ... finger hurts ...

Mad LoVe,
yEr rEd hEad

skull candy = MJ

metro hormones

I do not know what possess complete strangers to engage me weather pleasant or not

and NO I do not give a shit that she was knocked up !!! that is not a free bitch pass !!!

this is day two carrying around this coffee maker, I crashed at Ts last night, her aunt grilled some amazing burgers mmmmm
so day two, just fucking now, we board the train and this lady is tailgating me to my seat, well im trying to untangle myself from my coffee maker and back pack and this lady us standing on me like shes trying to sit beside me I WANT IT TO BE CLEAR ON THIS, THERE IS TWO EMPTY BENCHES BEHIND ME, ONE EMPTY BENCH INFRONT OF ME AND TWO OPEN SEATS, THATS JUST, right there THE TRAIN IS HALF EMPTY it's fucking 11am, dead metro
this lady finally sits down right infront of me !!!! ok shes sitting, turns to me and says "it'd be nice to get a seat" cause I have my shit beside me
it didn't end there, no, three more times, she turns to me calling me ignorant, inconsiderate, AND eyeing me n my stuff, T mouths to me "what is her problem"
everyone is looking like wtf
third time my patience is gone, I feeling half sick, n this bitch turns n opens her mouth, and I cut her off
"lady you say one more word at me and I'm going to throw up in your hair"

seriously wtf is wrong with people !!!
half empty train n this ladies acting like people are standing cause I'm hogging a bench !!!!

so thats was that, I feigned throwing up lol she left me alone after that

but seriously wtf
I'm chalking it up to knocked up crazy hormones

I can't wait to get home, take a nap n make a latte !!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

haLf naKed cirCle

SO as you know i WON my Tassimo BrewBot !!! i've been up since 5am and still utterly EXCITED about my being the FIRST HA HA HA

anywhosit, spent the rest of the day trucking around DC !!! hit up DuPont Circle which is always a great people watching place starting with the half naked man with a HeaLthy GUT and painted on hair walking STRAIGHT at me ... don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact !!! shit Dont make GUT contact nOOOOO ... sat right next to me ... sigh

then i observed this dude picking his nose, i mean really going for it and Jon he ATE it !!!!! not once BUT THRICE !!!!! OMG .... then he sat up & turned out to be a girl ... who knew

i hope to NEVER be mistaken for a dude EVER in my life !!!

but the highlight of DuPont was the arrest of the two white girls in black, drinking at the circle !!! AND they cuffed them with Pink Cuffs, which i thought looked good considering the situation .... after the cuffing the officers riffled through their stuff and found someTHING more !!! ha ha ha, she's pointed with it scolding the girls, WAIT i really shouldnt say girls, they were 30s LoL definitely OLD enough to know better ha ha ha AND all the while this is going down the Park Cleared OUT !!!! population down by half LOL

and finally this MAN .... yes a MAN parallel parking like a fucking idiot, hitting TWICE and pushing the car behind him, completely unaware fucking moron !!!! and of course me, i'm like as LOUD so that everyone sitting at this cafe watching (i walking but stopped for this idiot) i make it be known "AND IT"S A GUY" FUCKING MEN CANT DRIVE OR PARK
he heard me to LoL

people in DC

well it was a worth while trip i was thee first for the Tassimo !!! i got there before they set UP oh i got my picture taken, i still need to find their shit on Facebook AND tag myself !!!

i really wanted to try the Obama Star Martini with Dark AND White Chocolate LOL mmmmmmmmm


alright i'm about to tear down this BURGER !!!!!


i heart cow
grilled, charred

mad love,
yer Caffinated Red

skull candy = Steven Marley

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


was riding this platform through this mall, the mall was huge, miles huge indoor n out n

but the part that woke me that scared me was I had been arrested for murder, thee was someone dressing up as an old crazy dead looking woman wielding an ax

an while I was being questioned in a grocery store in the middle of the night, heard this dragging of metal noise, the sherif says, shes here, n me n the officer stand up n look over the top of the office wall, all I can see is crazy salt n pepper hair, we all walk out the door n into the produce section where she is, wearing a khaki trench coat n dragging a ax, she turns around n her face is all contorted, eyes buggeyed, n mouth open, then she makes this awful sound, a high pitch scratchy scream, and throws the ax but misses the sherif who throws his own ax, n the officer is throwing some circular blade thing and they all toss the axes.blades back n forth through the grocery all the while ashes making this awful sound
at the first I think awesome this proves its not me
but I realize it is me
n I suddenly remember these gaps when I left my kids n when I got back home wondering why I had up n left my children unsupervised but couldn't remember anything but riding around the mall on this platform controlled by a hand remote like a tv looking remote
so now the lady is coming at me and I freeze, I can't do anything the cops are throwing axes but ashes catching n tossing back quicker than them
but she was me n iIwas trying to figure out which was real the dead me or the me she was about to kill
n I woke hearing that awful sound she made !!! freaked me out for a few minutes after I woke :( I was afraid to go pee

right before she killed me, right before I woke, I was back flashing, remembering all the people I had hacked up ... and I sere through her eyes, even myself as she axed into my shoulder

terrible ... I may just stay awake
I don't want to fall back into that dream

happy hump day

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

peTTy pLanT tHeiF

The point of Self Check out FOR ME is to NOT be bothered … I don’t want to bother anyone & don’t wish to be bothered AND I want to bag my own SHIT all 8 items today
One being a little tropical plant J the last thing I rang through so I could carry it AND not have it fall down the roll bars off the conveyor belt

Well Sherlock India didn’t think so, first he takes the plant (after I placed on safe land) & claims I’ve not scanned it
But there it is in plain English “Foliage” $.$$
I point but he rings it in again

Cause apparently I look like the type who buys everything but tries to sneak out with a tropical spiking leaf plant

So now it’s rung in TWICE and of course India can’t fixed his own fuck up, he’s gotta go get little Itally to fix his fuck up

As if this is not enough he then places the plant on the FUCKING roller Bars & it falls over, dirt everywhere !!!!!  THEN he puts the plant in a plastic bag !!!  WTF
So now I’ve paid for a PLANT ONLY NO DIRT and it’s SUFFOCATING in a plastic bag

Excellent, thank you sir

I didn’t say anything BUT one day ONE day Jon my head is going to spontaneously combust !!!  

I just smiled like “ohhhhh it’s ok”  I like my plants half dead when I get them, it’s a challenge !!!  it’s like the plants my mom & sister give me ... damn near DEAD

Which BTW my moms near dead Poinsettia is doing GREAT

I’m still waiting for that avocado to sprout 

Finding a post box is hard !!!  the nearest is not near, wow, snail mail … oh so difficult

Still waiting for my bank card to come
I actually had to go into the bank today !!! SO I thought while I’m here I’ll set up this online banking thingy … but no I gotta call a # & get online while on the phone and do it all that way ….

Hummm if only I had WiFi in my house & didn’t have this 2hr battery limit on my computer hummm

Alright I’m off here
Happy fucking MONDAY I think it’s Monday lol

Mad LoVe,
Yer lil Red plant Theif

Skull candy  =  the Brazilian Girls !!!!